We all have a father. Some of us know our fathers and some of us don’t. Some of us have happy memories about our fathers and enjoy spending time with our fathers and some of us don’t.
Some of us look forward to having a Happy Father’s Day with our fathers and for some of us, Father’s Day brings up a lot of painful memories that we’d rather forget.
Some of us love our fathers and can make a list of all the wonderful things he’s done for us and some of us hate our fathers and can make a list of all the terrible things he’s done to us.
No matter how your father treated you as a child, and how he may still be treating you as an adult, the truth is, he did the best he could and, if he is still alive, he is continuing to do his best even if it may not look like it at all.
If your father was disapproving, abusive or absent from your life, you may be thinking there is NO WAY this was the best he could do as a parent, and it’s totally understandable for you to feel this way.
If you are ready to heal your relationship with your father, I invite you to look at him with a new perspective. Take a moment to look past your painful memories, shift your focus and look more deeply into your father’s life. You may learn things you never knew before. Perhaps your father also had a disapproving, abusive or absent father and never had any role models showing him how to be a loving father. Or, he may have suffered in other ways as a child and carried this suffering into his adult life, unconsciously projecting it onto you.
As a child you may have interpreted your father’s actions towards you as meaning you’re not good enough, or lovable or smart or “fill in the blank.” The way your father treated you, however, has NOTHING to do with you at all and EVERYTHING to do with him.
If Father’s Day is a painful day for you, this means you carried your past painful experiences, and what you made them mean, into your adult life. Perhaps you blame your father for everything that isn’t working in your life today. If you still carry anger, hurt or rage towards your father, whether he’s dead or alive, your life is being ruled by your past, causing you to continue to suffer and stopping you from having the life and relationships you truly desire.
There is only one way to free yourself from this endless suffering and it is to FORGIVE!
I’m sure you’ve heard this before and if you’ve turned away from this by telling yourself that your father doesn’t deserve forgiveness, you really don’t understand what forgiveness is all about.
Forgiveness Does NOT Mean You Are Letting Someone “Off The Hook”
It doesn’t mean that what your father did or didn’t do was okay or that what he said or didn’t say to you was acceptable. Forgiveness sets YOU free so that you will no longer carry the burden of the past with you each and every day.
If you truly desire to create happy, peaceful and loving relationships with ANYONE, it begins with forgiving those who hurt you, including your father.
If you are open to the possibility of forgiving your father, but you don’t know where to begin, download a copy of my “Releasing Past Wounds” Exercise and find a quiet and private place where you can spend at least 20 to 30 minutes to work through it. If you already downloaded a copy, this is a great time to use it.
Once you complete the exercise, if you feel you need more support, I invite you to request a complimentary, 45 minute “Relationship Renewal Breakthrough” Session with me and I will help you as best as I can.